Getting a Divorce

Yes, it’s true; I’ve officially separated from Buc-ee’s and will file for divorce.  I loved the Beaver and gave the Beav everything I had.  I loved his cute grin; buck teeth & red cap; and I was a faithful and loyal customer, purchasing gas, coffee, snacks, and Buc-ee’s stuff.  I felt special drinking my coffee from my Buc-ee’s mug & sleeping in my Buc-ee’s pajamas.

But I’ve discovered that the Beaver has not been faithful to me.  I’ve noticed that other customers have taken over my ability to stake a claim for a gas pump or even move around inside the store without bumping into other satisfied customers. I’m just not feeling special anymore.  When the Beaver is on-site, strolling around all cutesy, he doesn’t even notice me; he’s busy talking & taking pictures with the kids.

Fourth of July week was the end of the road for me and the Beaver.  To begin with, the right lane of I-75 was backed up with vehicles getting off at Exit 144 to get to Buc-ee’s.  This was a definite hazard on the interstate because drivers weren’t paying attention to the brake lights in front of them.  I checked my rear-view mirror to ensure I didn’t get rear-ended while trying to exit.

Once I finally got into the Buc-ee’s twilight zone, I had to drive around looking for an empty pump to get gas.  This took at least 10 minutes of waiting since hundreds of others were doing the same thing.

I agree that you can “Potty like a Rock Star”; this is their slogan, not mine, but after I waited in line to get to a gas pump and went inside to be a rock star, the line to the lady’s room was out the door, and it wasn’t single file.  Most ladies had children, so the line was fat horizontally and vertically.  No one was beckoning me to the front of the line, so my rock-star status was quickly downgraded to cattle car status.

I love the Buc-ee’s concept – gas, food (they get excited to announce their hot chopped brisket sandwiches), and tons of knick-knacks in one area.  But it’s no longer fun.  The Beaver and I have become incompatible, with irreconcilable differences, and I must move on now and find someplace else.  I’m looking for a Wa-Wa but will settle for less if I can feel unique again!  My spot must be midway between Jacksonville, FL, and Dahlonega, GA.

But wait, look at this adorable Buc-ee’s birthday cake I found on Facebook.  The beaver is so cute, and the cake looks like a big Buc-ee’s drink.  I want one for my birthday!   I’m back in love again.  Maybe I’ll hold off on the divorce and try a temporary separation.

Wish me luck!