My Sweet Pancake

Some stories are very difficult to write but deserve to be told.  I have always held a special place in my heart for all my pets, but Pancake filled my heart so full because she was more than a cat.  She was my companion; she shared my space, nibbled from my plate, napped on my lap, was my traveling buddy, and constantly filled my life with joy.

Each day when I came home, I would open the door and say, “Where’s my girl” and she would come from wherever she was and greet me.  She gave me the best four years of my life when she came to live with me.

So, when the time came to say goodbye for good, it was one of the worst things I had to do.  I’m sad each day that I come home to an empty house and know that my warm, cuddly, sweet friend is no longer with me.  I tried to prolong the inevitable as long as I could.

I was hand feeding her, sleeping on the floor at night to be as close to her as possible, reading stories to her, and kissing the top of her head, which was always a little game between us.  In the end, I came to realize that it was selfish of me not to acknowledge her condition and do what was best for my girl.

I found this poem which I hope is what Pancake would say to me if she could talk, but I believe in the end, she was letting me know in her way.  I stayed with her, kissed her sweet little head, and whispered, “I Love You” for the last time.

The Last Battle

If it should be that I grow frail and weak,
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this — the last battle — can’t be won.
You will be sad, I understand,
But don’t let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years; You wouldn’t want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they’ll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering, I have been saved.
Don’t grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We’ve been so close — we two — these years. Don’t let your heart hold any tears.